Authentically Speaking

Here’s the deal.

Back in 2009, I saw a blogger named “The Pioneer Woman” and I thought, “If she can do it – so can I!” I was determined to set the world on fire with my witty banter, stellar command of story, and overall good-natured charm. (Never mind the fact I didn’t live on a spectacular ranch, nor did I showcase step-by-step recipes of fabulousness.)

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Regardless, I made a pledge then and there to begin this blogging fantasy. My primary New Year’s resolution for 2010 was “to post on my blog EVERY DAY!” Fast-forward to the end of 2010, and I achieved approximately 315 posts. Not bad. But, I wasn’t exactly setting the blogosphere on fire. In fact, I’m not sure I had more than my mother and a bestie or two following An Authentic Life. Still, I forged ahead, stepping into the great unknown, certain the my soon-to-be-Pioneer-Woman-success was oh. so. close. (Not. so. much.)

Eventually I was invited to join the esteemed group of soon-to-be famous (and some already famous) bloggers at BlogHer. At the time, we lived in southwest Montana, and I was fortunate enough to be invited to become a regular blogger with the little darlings at Montana Parent Magazine. I was on my way!

Everyday after my 8 to 5 job, I would come home and hunch over my keyboard – clickity-clacking – weaving words into magic. It was brilliant! I was growing as a person, as a writer (and hobbyist photographer). I expelled wisdom about the eclectic western frontiers we experienced; my travels for work; my regular trips to California to see the whites of the eyeballs belonging to my parents, family and other life-long pals. Life was good. Yet, the blog only ticked along. Painfully slow.

Posts added up. Photos by the thousands were added to the pages of An Authentic Life. In fact, at times, I would re-read a piece of my art and actually be astounded, like, “I wrote that?”

A few years went by and my little blog stuttered along. It was really beginning to shine and gain traction, only, the source behind the magic curtain grew weary. Success wasn’t as I imagined. Readership was dismal (although, I did have a few groupies out there cheering my on, thankful for my drudgery.) In my complacency and lack of compelling content, I missed my contractual three posts per month, and was “temporarily released from my obligation.” Of course, I was told I “could reapply at a later date.” Only, I knew I wouldn’t. A part of me was sick to death of hearing my own written voice, and if I was sick of me, how could my few followers not be?

A year passed.

One lonely little post was the only inkblot to occupy otherwise blinding white space. The words dried up. My creativity parched. My hope of an out-worldly successful blog rapidly disintegrating with every missed post.

When the time came to pay my hosting dues, I lagged.

They gave me plenty of chances. I failed to respond. I pretended to ignore them. It wasn’t long before my blog was held hostage until payment was satisfied. Still, I did nothing. Ostrich in the sand.

Several more months passed before I finally decided to do something. I attempted to update my hosting account. Only by that time, it was much too late. I discovered my grave error; by not paying on time, apparently I authorized said hosting company to forever delete my content.

Forever. delete. my. content.

Over 700 blog posts and 4,000 images disappeared into a cloud of dust. Never to be seen or heard from again.

Heavy sigh.

So, if you clicked onto this site in search of fabulousness, thank you for stopping.

I wish I had more to share with you. Perhaps I will in the future. Once I recover from lost blog syndrome. Or by some miracle, find the much needed inspiration to begin producing relevant content worthy of your time.

Until then, live authentically…